no not that fucking. if it was i’d call it making love but all that aside……
SO! i’ve just popped my finals cherry….haha this month has been a popping cherry fiesta…. i had my first 10+ hour study session (in which, i might add, that i got a ton done!) i’ve successfully broke out of my shell for like 10 minutes….i’ve sort of also, for the first time, become really aware of my thoughts, feelings, etc. stuff that i never really studied or ever really focussed on in high school and shit like that.
But back to finals……i don’t know….i don’t really know how i truly feel about the whole deal. Sure as hell it was hard…harder than anything i have every taken. Like, AP classes do NOT compare to how hard this test was. I mean, for godsakes, it was a graduate class (in terms of study and knowledge load) disguised as an undergrad class….fucking hell. I spent two weeks, at least 7 hours a day studying…and nothing…NOTHING could have prepared me for this. The fact is that there was way way way too much to know and it was never truly clear what my professor was planning to throw at us. Generally we were suppose to know….uhm, everything? haha. Much of it was based on readings when instead he told us in class that it would all be based on concept. lol concept of reading? man totally did not read between those lines! haha.
But i think i can say that i am proud. I have proudly taken my first college final and gloriously have failed to the n-th degree. but again…i feel relieved…i actually feel rather ecstatic about it! i enjoyed the experience and it looks like another 4 years of it! haha….well actually 7 years including grad school which probably will be of magnitude 10,000. in difficulty. mannnnnn……….
but oh well i think i’ve come to terms with it, i need to scream this shit out….i went up to the theater above the ceaser chavez center….but i didnt want to freak people out…. ‘sides there were kids there and i didnt want to subject them to curse words they probably already know. lol. hey, im not gonna be blamed for making the new generation stupid. Maybe before i leave i’ll head back up….hoping that there’s no one up there. haha. i have this pent up shout worthy stress that i really really need to let out.
anyhow, i checked in with the photography class and it looks like i’ll be in charge of purchasing my own stock of RC paper and chemicals….which i suppose isnt so bad because it really does echo reality. lol. looks like i’m really going to need that job. =[ photography is an expensive business….and i hope that i will meet many enthusiasts…maybe more than me? shit i havent met anyone that shares the same enthusiasm that i do so i have high hopes. i talked to someone in the class and they said it was really free class…which im pretty excited about!
sorry mom and dad, this is gonna be one expensive semester…i’ll try to not spend so much on developer or paper and look more into using the film scanner to ease up costs.
and….i think thats really all i have to say about all of this…im tired but i have a bit more work to do (just this week! next week is physics study hell) that i’d like to get out of the way before the meteor shower tonight (geminids!) maybe do something fun? i dont know.
but hope you’re day was not filled with fucked up finals and feeling good about fucking up on a final ;D
cheers from nice and cool but incredibly beautiful san francisco!
